Triumph by Carolyn Jessop & Laura Palmer

Triumph by Carolyn Jessop & Laura Palmer

Author:Carolyn Jessop & Laura Palmer
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Cult, Non-Fiction, Adult, Biography, Religion
ISBN: 9780307590718
Publisher: Broadway
Published: 2010-05-03T22:00:00+00:00


Strength in Silence

New life was growing in me, but so far it was only making me sick. The thought of my baby triggered emotions bigger and deeper than any I’d ever known. Along with the love came worry: how would my child be accepted in a family that refused to accept me?

My first wedding anniversary was approaching. Morning sickness made everything surreal. As I looked through the dining room window marveling at the softness of the spring sunlight hitting the pink peach blossoms, waves of nausea would wash through me. Except when I was asleep, I felt dizzy and weak all the time. I was trapped in a marriage and family I never wanted, having been forced to abandon my dream of becoming a pediatrician.

But as sick as I was, I was desperately in love with the child I was carrying. But I also felt panicked because my first year of college was almost over and I would be losing the only part of life that was mine and mine alone. In college I was taken seriously, and my potential for achievement was unlimited.

Summer school was not an option because my morning sickness was too severe. While I was in college and commuting home on weekends, I knew I could survive two days of craziness and head back to campus on Sunday night. But now, as a full-time member of Merril’s hateful family, I needed a survival strategy.

One morning, as I approached the kitchen, I suddenly heard loud voices.

“You should tell Father!” the first one said.

“You know how he feels about keeping secrets from him!” said the other.

“I will be the one to report what happened,” retorted the second. “You stay silent!”

Merril’s daughters were startled when I walked into the kitchen. Instantly the room fell silent. I wondered what would be reported to Merril. Family members routinely informed on each other. A daughter who brought an offense to her father’s attention would be rewarded by him with more power and status.

Merril insisted that no secrets be kept from him. Every time he and I spoke, he’d ask, “Is there anything I need to know? Anything you want to tell me?” In the first months of my marriage this confused me. Was he asking me to confess something? Had someone reported something about me that I needed to defend? I finally gathered the courage to ask Merril what he meant.

“I feel strongly that every member of my family understand the seriousness of bringing a report to me of behavior that isn’t in line with my wishes,” he said. “Reporting can be seen as trying to get another person into trouble by being a snitch. But in reality if someone is straying from the work of God, reporting to me is one of the most merciful things that can be done for them.”

Merril then told me one of the family’s cherished stories. As an adolescent, his daughter, Merrilyn, began to fall away from the teachings of the prophet. Her friends were disreputable, and she started to associate with boys and skip school.



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